It's hard to ignore the knot, which cuts the air, threatens words
but now it seems the time has come, my time to speak has come.
They all formulate so beautifully, on their signs and on their blogs
but I have sitten silently, neglecting and pushing away the thoughts.
I found excuses and apologies for them - and thought I was too drunk
I said they stole my body, but in my head I thought I'm strong
and when they reached for me and whispered, charming little spouts
praising all my features, pressing body, breath is loud
and told me first I'm frigid, little tease, a slutty saint
my shame can't match a torture, since I had never screamed
they might call this a conquer, but in truth they only claimed
a body that gave no response, a body stiff in feint.
The knowledge of your names had numbed by tongue and wit
Fuck I have been raped, I might not give a shit
I just take the pill and choke on it, nobody has to know
They said I was all flirty, maybe it was indeed my fault
They robbed me of my childhood, I thought I could control
And now that I’m much older, I see they’ve crushed my soul.
Barely this word rises, but joins the rising force
I might just add a word or two, and open here my doors
You know I am a joker, but this here is a scar
it reached so far and cut so deep it nearly broke my heart
with shaking wit and trembling heart, hear this voice of mine
scratchy is the sound it makes, when saying I am fine.