Dignity, memory and future is just one of those road kills on our way back to hell.
And there's nausea, pity, maybe some nostalgia, but in the end just void.
In the end it was just one road kill among thousands. And we are one of it, without really knowing when the car came.
Suddenly there was light.
How could we get this far? Where exactly did we miss the exit?
When was it too late, to go back?
Head down and run - being the only tactic?
How can we call ourselves "developed" when we ever been just human.
Because humans excuse humanity with being human.
Because human is sinful and ..., ..., ..., you get what I mean, I could write down loads of heavy, quite irritating and manipulating adjectives and strong nouns to describe humanity.
I am not going to do it.
Excusing mistakes with humanity is ... wait I got it: Human!
Remember when you were a kid and your brother/sister/cousin/mate took your favourite car/doll/book/dress and broke/smashed/torn/ripped it?
You got really angry didn't you?
And you may have hit/pinched/beat/scratched your brother/sister/cousin/mate?
Right? You did it. Of course you did because you were angry and you were a child and children are allowed to explore all these beautiful different feelings and emotions.
And then what happend?
Mama/teacher/nanny/older ones came and punished/blustered/yelled/questioned you.
And they made you apologize for hurting each other. And you had to promise not to do it again.
And what? Did you feel sorry?
Not for hurting your brother/sister/cousin/mate for sure. You felt sorry for yourself.
Because your car was still destroyed and even when Mami got you an other one it wasn't the same. The colour right? or the wheels, something was just NOT okay with it.
As you get older and you get civilized you might have stopped with hitting each other. Or at least for 2-3 years, when you start smoking weed at the age of 16 or 17 and you think you could bring world peace if weed would just be legalized and everybody would listen to Bob Marley and your crush and you will be forever in love with each other or masturbating was just THE thing you discovered. You were so busy with yourself you forgot to hit the ones surrounding you.
But 2-3 years later you finished exploring yourself, drugs and sex and you might want to get really mature and grown up all of a sudden. Or you just have fun on staying forever young and REALLY believe in the same things you believed in when you were 17. (Imagine a world ruled by hormone conducted, stoned teenagers).
Being a grown-up just means starting to hit each other again.
You hit for money, power, soil, oil and sex.
And the weapons are no teeth, fists and improvised sidekicks anymore.
Grown-ups play with real toys and need real weapons.
But there's no Mami/Nanny/Teacher/older ones who try to make you realize that what you're doing is wrong. That only bad children hit each other. That you should apologize and give each other a hug or a kiss, because a few hours later you might need each other to build the greatest sand castle of the whole kindergarden.
Things don't really change as we get old. Things just get bigger. And Mamis, Nannies, Teachers and older ones just vanish. They disappear or we delete them from our consciousness, playing without the is so much more fun, isn't it?
I pushed the prior topic a little to the back to explain how global these problems are.
As you believe that what you do here- doesn't matter where here exactly is - doesn't affect someone on the other side of the sandbox or the street or the ocean, you're wrong. It does.
As you smoke your relaxing joint, buy fancy cheap clothes or believe that driving a car instead of a 15 min walk is right- you put money into war and into from poverty.
As you get hight with your friends people die in Latin America. They die every day, every hour, innocent civilians die because you need your dope.
As you go to for fancy shopping every now and then you push children in whole Asia, Africa and South America into a semi slavery from where they will never be able to get out of. Instead of going to school, getting a job, getting some dignity.
As you drive your car, instead of investing into a bike, bus, train or good shoes you pay for the war. You bring your country into war, your friends and your friends friends.
But these people are just a road kill, aren't they? Unlucky to be born on the wrong side of the rainbow. Why should you care?
Why should you care as long your car is nice, your clothes are pretty and your parties wild.
I have a question.
How human are you?
When you hit your brother when you were a child you got punished sooner or later.
Same here in grown-up world.
Sooner or later it'll come around.
Sooner or later you'll be the road kill, road kill by mistake, a human mistake.
* Title is a cite of the song "Boys Don't Cry" by Ben Solle