I have never felt sad when a celebrity has passed, but today I've been fighting off the tears. Robin Williams was an amazing actor and comedian -taking roles and playing in movies which have been companions and life-changers for me and I am sure many more people. It hurts my heart to see that even the brightest, funniest, most charismatic man is overwhelmed by such darkness and sadness that he sees no way out.
It also marks the anniversary of a similar death in my family, and the grief is almost unbearable. When a beloved one makes such a decision we cannot comprehend in what state of mind they were, we don't understand the amount of pain and hopelessness they were experiencing.
What is left behind are our feelings - guilt, shame, despair - we could have called, could have said, could have could have. Maybe it would have changed something? Maybe it would have changed their mind and made them go a little longer, maybe it would have triggered off a healing process?
We all experience lows, for shorter or longer periods - which make "going on" tough at times. Especially our generations, which have gotten a little out of touch with staying in touch, a generation which gets anything at any time per "push the button", a society which has allowed social media to become the least social tool of all times - might struggle sometimes with the fundamental lessons life has to teach.
You are important. You are loved. You have touched people.
I know depression can be crippling,but please ask for help. We're here to help you out, we're here to hold you when you're struggling, we're here to remind you of your awesomeness when your memory is failing - because it does.
I sometimes call my depression amnesia - it makes me forget how easy it is to be happy, to laugh, to appreciate, to be amazed and to be in awe. It makes me forget that people love me and that I love them. It makes me forget how awesome it feels to move, to dance, to sing... It makes me forget that hard work does is necessary and it will be successful either way, even if the results were unexpected. It makes me forget that there's so much time ahead of me and that the best moment to change my habits, my path, my frame of mind is right now.
I am so sorry that Robin Williams and so many others forgot all these beautiful things, but let's try to remind each other more often, shall we?
Embrace the light